how can u be prego again
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
we should paint friendship bongs
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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