i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
