I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
