i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
