i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
