dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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