i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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