This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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