Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize