Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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