So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
