How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
