remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
