giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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