I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Randomize
