I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Randomize
