pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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