I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
