Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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