Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
