Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
