I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
