no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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