She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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