Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Randomize
