Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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