I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize