Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
