no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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