After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
