the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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