I like to think it a success when the cops are called
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
