oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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