What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize