Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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