Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
