my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
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He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
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Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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