When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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