You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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