you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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