I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
