508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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