Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
