mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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