What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
