just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
