I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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