So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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