so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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