there was a trapeze. enough said
This house was built for laser tag.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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