I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
