Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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