this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
