We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize