no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
