I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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