So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
