trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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