so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
