I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
