somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Vodka?
Forever.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Can you bring me the toilet please
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
