she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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